Day.. I dunno

I'm now back from my trips round Malaysia :) Interesting things that happened: 1. My stepdad is weird. He thrives on breaking the rules. 2. I got stung by a hornet :S 3. I got asked a *million* times about whether I had a boyfriend or not :P My aunt and my grandma's now at my home, so I'm now evicted from my room :P So far I've been meeting lots of friends almost every day of the week. And so far, I've only met *one* person twice this whole time. I'm really blessed to have so many diverse sets of friends, I guess ;) It's pretty odd though when I see my friends.. it's like everybody's on the fast track of life.. jobs, marriage, kids, death.. and I feel like I'm still sitting there waiting for the bus to arrive :P

Eid - Day 1

I've got about 1.5 hrs left before I head off for my second leg of Eid fun-ness!

So what happened on the first day of Eid:

Ate awesome rendang! Enough said.

Got to meet my extended family members that I haven't seen in years. I saw my granddad, my aunts and my uncles. I also got to play around with my stepmom's awesome camera. Took a million photos of the aforementioned rendang, and four pics of my granddad :P

Visited my grandmother's grave. I always get a bit melancholic when I visit her grave. She's known to be quite fierce amongst all her grandchildren, but she always spoiled me and my brother. There was once I wanted a cassette of my favourite artiste (OMG I'm so old) and on the release date, she accompanied me to a few cassette shops to look for it. Unfortunately because it was so new, they didn't stock it yet, so I changed my mind and asked for my second favourite artiste's cassette instead. And she still bought me that cassette! So yes, I miss her a lot.. and I always tear up a little bit when I see her tombstone. It's such a shame that my younger brother and my younger nieces and nephews never got the privilege to meet her :)

Travelled 6 hours in total for a 3-hour visit. But it was more than worth it :)

Today we'll be doing a 5-hour trip to Alor Setar, staying there for two nights, before heading back home again on Friday.

Day 5

.. is the last day of Ramadan!

So I woke up to prepare the early morning meal, then proceeded to sleep until 1pm, so slight improvement there :P

But today's been amazing :D

Went to our local shopping mall at 11pm to see all sorts of Eid stuff being sold auction-style. The atmosphere was amazing! People were shouting out prices and the longer we stayed there, the lower the prices were! I managed to snag Eid biscuits for 1/3rd off. I even got to haggle some of the prices down :)

I also saw some *amazing* headscarves, but unfortunately I had already ran out of money by then. Some other time then :P

Apart from that, I also went to pick up my Eid dress from my aunt. Of course I was asked the all-time favourite question:

"So Dayah, do you have a boyfriend yet?"

:P :P :P

Oh help me God.

See, if you say that you don't have a boyfriend, the next question would be:

"How old are you now?"

Which can then go one way or the other:

"But you look so young!" --> positive result!
"OMG what are you waiting for?!" --> not-so-positive result.

I think on this occasion, I've managed to deflect their attention adequately enough. However, I'm not so sure how I'll fare when I finally meet my extended family members over the next week..

Tomorrow's Eid :)

I'm seeing my paternal grandparents in Ipoh tomorrow, then I'm seeing my maternal grandmother in Alor Setar the following three days.

And the interesting bit about our trip to Alor Setar is that my stepdad's following us there the whole time as well. This will be the first time he'll be in prolonged contact with my youngest brother. So this will be interesting to watch :D

I'll be travelling all over Malaysia until Saturday, so I won't be online very much, hence not blogging much either.

Selamat Hari Raya, everyone. Maaf zahir batin :)

Day 4

Arrrgghhh.. must stop oversleeping!!

I only woke up at 3pm today :( :( :(

Woke up earlier this morning to cook our early morning meal, but once I slept around 6:30am, I completely missed my 11am alarm and *six* of my dad's calls.

:S

On a happier note, I actually managed to reheat everything *and* got the rice cooked (the night before) all in time for 5am! Result :D

Sigh.. I think I'm writing off today.. hopefully tomorrow will be a lot better :)

Day 3..

.. could be considered an off day, in more ways than one.

I was in charge of cooking the early morning meal. Considering I was still awake, I decided to stay awake until the 4am that I'm meant to be up for. So I completely had zero sleep last night.

I had reheated everything and I put some rice into the rice cooker and everything was set by 5am when everyone usually wakes up to eat.. except, by 5am, the rice was still not cooked :S

I was panicking.. I apologized profusely to everyone saying it was my fault for cooking the rice late..

Then my mom took one look at the rice cooker and said, "Of course it's not cooked, you didn't turn the power on."

*facepalm*

So in the end, nobody had the rice, and we had to make do with the leftover noodles from last night's dinner :P

Sigh...

So around 6am, I went to bed, setting my alarm clock so that I'd wake up at 7:30am because I was going to go Eid shopping with my stepmom.

6:37am and I was still looking at my clock..

By the time 7:30am came, I had *just* about went to sleep, which meant I could barely open my eyes, so I quickly texted my stepmom to say I'm not coming. I think she was a bit disappointed by that.. she was already in her car by the time I texted her.. sorry! :(

But I went back to sleep.. and I didn't wake up until noon :P :P

By the time I woke up, my brother's been fed, all the laundry's been washed and hung to dry, and all the dishes have been washed.

:D :D :D

So yes, I just continued faffing the whole day until I met up with my old collegemates H and F for iftar. So yes, today's been a brilliant day, alhamdulillah :)

It was great talking to H and F. Back in college, we used to be in the rebel group, or what was called the MIC (Malay-Indian-Chinese) group (don't ask!). We didn't really fit in with everybody else, but we were quite a close-knit group back then.

Then university happened and we stopped speaking to each other for nearly 4 years.

It was quite amazing to be talking to each other after so long.

I always assumed them both to be the poster children of people going overseas and migrating for greener pastures, which essentially they both did for awhile. They both took some time to work, or look for work, and in the end they're both now working in Malaysia.

It seems so odd to me. They both were fighting so hard to get to stay in the UK to work there, yet in the end, they both ended up back home.

They both said there were better work opportunities back home, hence why they both returned.

See, I'm still in the stage of fighting to stay in the UK. I can't help but think that there's something I'm missing here :/

Day 2

Actually today's not too bad.. I think I executed my maid duties fairly well :)

02:30 - Went to sleep :P

04:30 - Woke up to check if my mom's up to cook sahur for the family. She was. Went back to sleep :P

05:15 - Woke up to have sahur.

06:15 - Went back to sleep :P

08:00 - Woke up to get my brother AA ready for school. So ironed his school uniform, dressed him, gave him cornflakes + milk (which he threw away at the kitchen sink), cooked him some fried noodles.. only to *then* realize that today he was not going to school. *smacks forehead*

09:00 - Washed two sets of laundry and later hung them out to dry.

11:00 - Washed a *million* dishes, from sahur to AA's breakfast.

12:00 - Sent my brother T to buy some McDonald's to feed AA for lunch. I was lazy to cook.

12:30 - Retrieved laundry from the clothes line because it's starting to rain.

13:00 - My mom asked me "so how's your PhD?" :S :S

13:05 - Went back to sleep :P

17:30 - Eh? Is it 5 already? Woke up.

18:00 - Fed AA leftovers for his evening meal.

18:30 - Write this blog post.

18:45 - Got scolded for writing blog post instead of helping in the kitchen.

When can I go home?

Sorry, gtg now.

Day 1..

.. as the maid :P

Our maid's gone home for Eid, hence it's now time for all hell to break loose everybody in the household to pitch in.

My mom's in charge of cooking. My brother's in charge of taking care of my youngest brother. I'm charge of laundry and cleaning.

I think I got off lightly there!

Just two hours into taking care of my youngest brother, and I already felt like tearing my hair out of my scalp.

:P :P :P

I really need to learn how to be patient.

Rain

It's raining really heavily outside now..

It takes me back to the time when I was in my aunt's house.. She used to have these tin roofs.. and when the rain fell down, you couldn't hear yourself think, let alone what other people were saying, so we'd just sit there and listen to the cacophony of the rain hitting the roof.. It's quite amazing how we all just sat there in silence while the raindrops ebb and flow.. going from steady streams to a climactic crescendo before fading out completely..

:)

She now lives in a concrete block of flats :P

The government gave her the flat in exchange for tearing down her house.

Such a spoilsport.

Braids

My mum braided my hair today.

:) :) :)

Things I Forgot About Malaysia #1

If you leave sweets out in the open, you will attract millions of ants :S

I'm home :)

I'm now back in Malaysia for three weeks :)

It's funny how it seems like such a long time but I'm quite sure it's gonna fly by in a blink of an eye.

My trip from Southampton to London Stansted was a trek! I had to take two buses, taking five hours in total. The first bus was late by an *hour*, and my layover before my next bus was also an *hour*, so that was a bit nerve-wracking, but I managed to catch the second bus (thank God!) and it all worked out in the end, so it's all good :)

At the airport, my mission was to get my brother some Flake chocolates and my dad wanted some cream for frostbite(?). I spent a good 30 mins or so just to find out that the airports no longer stock Flake chocolates, and I had no idea what my dad wanted so I had to abort the mission. In the end I just bought some Toblerone instead :P

Because I had wasted so much time faffing about, I hurriedly had to find some secluded corner to eat my Krispy Kreme doughnut and leftover pasta bake (it's Ramadan :P) before people began to board the plane.

All in all, my journey to get to the plane ran according to plan. It's just that everything was so manic and rushed; it was a definite departure from my mental image of relaxing in the lounge sipping a cold Coke (at a secluded corner, of course), surfing the Internet on my laptop before I leisurely stroll out to board my plane.

I took the AirAsia X flight from Stansted to KL LCCT this time round. I've heard lots of mixed reviews about the flight, so I guess I was bracing myself for the worst, but it's actually quite alright. Except for the smelly toilets and a wailing kid in the middle of the night, the flight was surprisingly pleasant. The chairs were nice and comfy, but I guess that only applies to people with Asian builds (i.e. short and small :P). The Spanish guy next to me had trouble sleeping the whole night. Speaking of the Spanish guy, he ended up borrowing my blanket throughout the flight. Did I tell you that you had to buy your own blanket for the flight? Well I brought my own, which I ended up not using in the end, so he asked to use mine instead :)

If he was hot, I suppose I would've chatted him up or something. But he wasn't. The air steward, on the other hand, was quite hot, but I was too embarrassed about him serving me food in the middle of Ramadan, so I didn't chat him up either :P

I had brought a novel, a magazine and a newspaper with me, in preparation for the long entertainment-system-less 13 hour flight, but surprisingly I only had time to read the novel and that was it. The rest of the time I spent eating (:P) and sleeping (unsuccessfully). The flight was a bit bumpy around the Indian Ocean, and unfortunately the travel sickness pills I took weren't as effective as I had hoped.. :S

But anyway... we finally landed at KL in good time. It was 31 degrees Celsius, so I was quite glad I had a T-shirt on. I got my luggage OK and I was greeted by my mom, my *two* dads and my two brothers. It was the first time I'd met my stepdad. He bought me a rose :P

What do I say about my stepdad? Hmm.. He looks like a good guy. Compared to my previous stepdad, this one definitely seems a bit more open to me and my family, which is nice. He's a Scorpio though, so I'm always on alert for any unexpected traits ;)

Another cool thing is my mom's now wearing a head scarf.. hence why I couldn't see her at the arrivals hall :P

So now I'm at home, and I've had my first dinner together with my "new" family, i.e. me, my brothers, my mom and my stepdad. I'm still not sure what to call him, to be honest. So far I've successfully managed to dodge that by *not* having to call him. But I guess at some point I'll have to decide on something.

He's made so many changes around the house. My room used to be really empty. But now, instead of a single bed, I know have a massive double bed. There are now two picture frames of flowers on the walls, and I now have *two* sets of wardrobes - not that I even *have* that many clothes to fill them with! I also have this half length mirror which has some wiped out scribbles made with lipstick on it.. weird.

So yeah, so many new things have happened while I'm gone. It seems to be for the better :)

While I'm in Malaysia, I plan to meet a few close friends and get back into the routine of helping out around the house. I also need to see my boss at some point. It would be nice if I could grab some time to go out and have fun on my own, but I guess I'll need my brother to drive me around for that. Ooh, he's got a job now as a trainee, which is starting on 6 Sept :)

My brother's all grown up now, so proud of him :D

I wonder when am *I* going to grow up..

He's sad that I bought him Toblerone instead of Flake :P

I feel a bit disjointed here at home. Like a stranger at my own home. Is that normal?

Ah well.. I guess I'll settle in soon enough.

o_O

Holy shit I am freaking out right now.

Something's happening tomorrow, and I'm hoping it'll be really big.

I hope it's a nice big thing rather than a bad big thing.

Fingers crossed!!!

You Are A Masterpiece

There has never been a person like you before, there is not anybody else like you right now in the whole world, and there will never be anybody like you. Just see how much respect God has paid to you. You are a masterpiece — unrepeatable, incomparable, utterly unique. Even the hardest heart, the rock-like heart, will start melting in gratitude.

Once you've done the deed, stay away

Excerpt from a book..

Don't check in on him to ease your own conscience; it just confuses him. Yes, you feel bad; yes, you miss him. But you wanted out, so you don't get to swing by to ease your own temporary pain. Give him the space he needs to hate your guts and get over you so someday maybe you can be friends.

Dealing with Negativity

This is actually a really brilliant post: http://celestinechua.com/blog/8-helpful-ways-to-deal-with-critical-people/

1. Don't Take It Personally
2. Objectify the Comments – Understand the Underlying Message
3. Take it as a Source of Honest Feedback
4. Address Your Discomfort Within
5. Don't "Ask" for Opinions if You can't take it
6. Disengage from their Criticism / Ignore Them
7. Show Them Kindness
8. Avoid Them

Marriage in Islam

Copied off of an email:

This is long.. but worth a read.. and a wonderful resource for working out what questions to ask at a level that really helps you know the person you are marrying.. I think the real question to ask is..

Would you want to be married to this man or this woman for all eternity because as Sh Waleed Basyouni points out in his lecture on Marriage in Islam.. this is the reality. .. and why intellectural commitment is the most important level of commitment in marriage.

There is a right way and a wrong way to get to know someone for marriage. The wrong way is to get caught up in the excitement and nuance of a budding relationship and in the process completely forget to ask the critical questions that help determine compatibility. One of the biggest mistakes that many young Muslims make is rushing into marriage without properly and thoroughly getting to know someone.

A common myth is that the duration of a courtship is an accurate enough measure of how compatible two people are. The logic follows that the longer you speak with someone, the better you will know them. The problem with that premise is that no consideration is given to how that time is spent.

Increasingly, young Muslim couples are engaging in "halal dating", which is basically socializing with each other in the company of friends and/or family. This includes going out to dinner, watching a movie, playing some sport or other leisure activity, etc. Depending on the family or culture, conversations are either minimal & chaperoned or worse, unrestricted and unsupervised. When you consider these limitations it makes one wonder when exactly, if ever at all, would the critical conversations take place? Unfortunately, for many, the answer is never and they live to suffer the consequences. If you or someone you know is in the "getting to know someone" phase, the following guide offers advice on exactly what to look for and avoid:

1) Do Not Marry Potential:

Oftentimes men consider marrying a woman hoping she never changes while a woman considers marrying a man she hopes she can change. This is the wrong approach on both accounts. Don't assume that you can change a person after you're married to them or that they will reach their potential. There is no guarantee, after all, that those changes will be for the better. In fact, it's often for the worse. If you can't accept someone or imagine living with them as they are then don't marry them. These differences can include a number of things such as ideological or practical differences in religion, habits, hygiene, communication skills, etc.

2) Choose Character over Chemistry:

While chemistry and attraction are no doubt important, character precedes them both. A famous quote follows, "Chemistry ignites the fire, but character keeps it burning." The idea of falling "in love" should never be the sole reason for marrying someone; it is very easy to confuse infatuation and lust for love. The most important character traits to look for include humility, kindness, responsibility, & happiness. Here’s a breakdown of each trait:

1. Humility:
The humble person never makes demands of people but rather always does right by them. They put their values and principles above convenience and comfort. They are slow to anger, are modest, and avoid materialism.

2. Kindness:
The kind person is the quintessential giver. They seek to please and minimize the pain of others. To know if a person is a giver, observe how they treat their family, siblings, and parents. Do they have gratitude towards their parents for all that they've done for them? If not, then know that they will never appreciate what you do for them. How do they treat people they don't have to be kind towards (i.e. waiters, sales associates, employees, etc)? How do they spend their money? How do they deal with anger; their own anger and their reaction to someone else's anger?

3. Responsibility:
A responsible person has stability in their finances, relationships, job, and character. You can you rely on this person and trust what they say.

4. Happiness:
A happy person is content with their portion in life. They feel good about themselves and good about their life. They focus on what they have rather than on what they don’t have. They very rarely complain.

3) Do Not Neglect The Emotional Needs of Your Partner:

Both men and women have emotional needs and in order for a partnership to be successful those needs must be mutually met. The fundamental emotional need of a woman is to be loved. The fundamental emotional need of a man is to be respected and appreciated.

To make a woman feel loved give her the three AAAs: Attention, Affection, & Appreciation. To make a man feel loved give him the three RRRs: Respect, Reassurance, & Relief. It is the obligation of each partner to make sure the other is happy and this extends to intimacy as well. As long as each partner is fulfilled by the emotional needs of the other, the intimate relationship will thrive. When a man takes seriously the emotional needs of his wife she will feel more encouraged to fulfill his sexual desires. Likewise, when a woman takes seriously the emotional needs of her husband he will feel more encouraged to give her the affection, love and appreciation she wants from him. Working together in this way encourages both giving and receiving.

4) Avoid Opposing Life Plans:

In marriage you can either grow together or grow apart. Sharing a common purpose in life will increase the chance that you will grow together.

You must know what the person is into. In other words, what are they ultimately passionate about? Then ask yourself, "Do I respect this passion?" "Do I respect what they are into?"

The more specifically you define yourself, i.e., your values, your beliefs, your lifestyle, the better chance you have of finding your life partner, your soul mate, the one you are most compatible with.

Remember, before you decide who to take along on a trip, you should first figure out your destination.

5) Avoid Pre-Marital Sexual/Physical Activity:

Recognize that there is incredible wisdom in why Allah has ordered us to refrain from intimacy before marriage; they are to prevent great harms as well as to keep sacred what is the most blessed part of a relationship between a man and a woman.

Aside from the obvious spiritual consequences, when a relationship gets physical before its time, important issues like character, life philosophy, and compatibility go to the wayside. Consequently, everything is romanticized and it becomes difficult to even remember the important issues let alone talk about them.

Intellectual commitment must be established before emotional or sexual commitment.

6) Avoid Lack of Emotional Connection:

There are a number of questions that you must answer YES to:

1, Do I respect and admire this person?
2. What specifically do I respect and admire about this person?
3. Do I trust this person?
4. Can I rely on them? Do I trust their judgment? Do I trust their word? Can I believe what they say?
5. Do I feel safe? Do I feel emotionally safe with this person? Can I be vulnerable? Can I be myself? Can I be open? Can I express myself?
6. Do I feel calm and at peace with this person?

If the answer is "I don't know, I'm not sure, etc." keep evaluating until you know for sure and truly understand how you feel. If you don't feel safe now, you won't feel safe when you are married. If you don't trust now, this won't change when you are married!

7) Pay Attention to Your Own Emotional Anxiety:

Choosing someone you don't feel safe with emotionally is not a good recipe for a long-lasting and loving marriage. Feeling emotionally safe is the foundation of a strong and healthy marriage. When you don't feel safe, you can't express your feelings and opinions. Learn how to identify whether you are in an abusive relationship. If you feel you always have to monitor what you say, if you are with someone and you feel you can't really express yourself and are always walking on eggshells, then it's very likely you are in an abusive relationship. Look for the following things:

1. Controlling behavior:
This includes controlling the way you act, the way you think, the way you dress, the way you wear your hair/hijab and the way you spend your time. Know the difference between suggestions and demands. Demands are an expression of control and if the demands are implied, than you must do it or there will be consequences. All of these are clear indications of abusive personalities.

2. Anger issues:
This is someone who raises their voice on a regular basis, who is angry, gets angry at you, uses anger against you, uses put downs, and curses at you, etc. You don't have to put up with this type of treatment. Many people who tolerate this behavior usually come from abusive backgrounds. If this is the case with you or someone you know, get help right away. Deal with those issues before getting married or before even thinking about getting married.

8) Beware of Lack of Openness In Your Partner:

Many couples make the mistake of not putting everything on the table for discussion from the onset. Ask yourself, "What do I need to know to be absolutely certain I want to marry this person?" "What bothers me about this person or the relationship?" It's very important to identify what's bothering you, things that concern you, and things you are afraid to bring up for discussion. Then you must have an honest discussion about them.

This is a great way to test the strength of your relationship. Bringing up issues when there's conflict is a great opportunity to really evaluate how well you communicate, negotiate, and work together as a team. When people get into power struggles and blame each other, it's an indication they don't work well as a team. Also important is being vulnerable around each other. Ask deep questions of each other and see how your partner responds. How do they handle it? Are they defensive? Do they attack? Do they withdraw? Do they get annoyed? Do they blame you? Do they ignore it? Do they hide or rationalize it? Don't just listen to what they say but watch for how they say it!

9) Beware of Avoiding Personal Responsibility:

It's very important to remember no one else is responsible for your happiness. Many people make the mistake of thinking someone else will fulfill them and make their life better and that's their reason for getting married. People fail to realize that if they are unhappy as a single person, they will continue to be miserable when they are married.

If you are currently not happy with yourself, don't like yourself, don't like the direction your life is going now, it's important to take responsibility for that now and work on improving those areas of your life before considering marriage. Don't bring these issues into your marriage and hope your partner will fix them.

10) Watch Out For Lack of Emotional Health and Availability In Your Potential Partner:

Many people choose partners that are not emotionally healthy or available. One huge problem is when a partner is unable to balance the emotional ties to family members, the marriage ends up having 3 (or more) people in it rather than two. An example of this would be if a man is overly dependent on his mother and brings that relationship into the marriage; this is no doubt a recipe for disaster. Also important to consider are the following:

1. Avoid people who are emotionally empty inside.
These include people who don't like themselves because they lack the ability to be emotionally available. They are always preoccupied with their deficiencies, insecurities, and negative thoughts. They are in a perpetual fight with depression, never feel good, are isolated, are critical and judgmental; tend to not have any close friends, and often distrust people or are afraid of them. Another clear indication about them is they always feel their needs are not getting met; they have a sense of entitlement and feel angry when they feel people should take care of them and they don't. They feel burdened by other people's needs and feel resentment towards them. These people can not be emotionally available to build healthy relationships.

2. Addictions
can also limit the level of availability of the partner to build a strong emotional relationship. Never marry an addict. Addictions are not limited to drugs and alcohol. They can be about addictions and dependency on work, internet, hobbies, sports, shopping, money, power, status, materialism, etc. When someone has an addiction, they will not and can not be emotionally available to develop an intimate relationship with you!

Additional Points to Consider:

The fact is no one looks 25 forever. Ultimately, we love the person we marry for more than their appearance. When we get to know someone we love and admire, we'll love them for their inner beauty and overall essence.

Once we find someone, we consciously or subconsciously want so badly for it all to work that we decide not to question or see what is clearly in front of our eyes: they were rude to the waiter, speaks ill of others, is rude to you, etc. We don't stop to ask, “What does all of this mean about their character?”

Never separate someone from their family, background, education, belief system, etc. Asking clear questions can clarify this. Ask questions like, “What does it mean to have a simple lifestyle?” “What are your expectations of marriage?” “How would you help around the house?” Compare your definition with theirs.

Be flexible. Be open-minded!

Giving in a happy marriage should not be confused with martyrdom. It should be about taking pleasure and seeing the other person as happy because of your connection with them.

Morality and spirituality are the qualities that truly define someone in addition to beauty, money, and health. The morally upright and spiritual person will stand by your side during adversity and hardship. If someone isn't God-conscience and doesn't take themselves into account with God then why should you expect them to fulfill their rights owed to you?

The ideal partner is someone who considers giving a gain and not causing a loss. Having a mutual and shared spiritual relationship will foster a successful marriage. Furthermore, a successful marriage is one that keeps the laws of family purity which require a certain degree of self-control and self-discipline, as well as the belief that the physical side of the relationship includes the spiritual and emotional side as well. Finding commonality and balance between the spiritual and emotional aspects of a relationship is a strong key to a healthy and thriving marriage

Hemoglobin H

http://www.thalassemia.com/Hb_H_disease.pdf

A new beginning

Again.

I really gotta stop making a habit out of this...

Here's to new days from this point onwards :)

Life lessons from Secret Diary

This time it's from Secret Diary of a Call Girl..

*spoiler alert*

*****

Ben: Hannah..? This is it, isn't it? You're not coming.

Hannah: I love you, Ben. You're my best friend. I want you to have the best in life. But it's not with me. I can't give you what you need and I can't change who I am and I don't want you to change who you are. You deserve so much better than that. You deserve the best.

Ben: You know this is the end, Hannah, yeah? We can't go back from this.

*****

Hannah: Some choices we make for ourselves in life. And some we make for other people. Not because we don't love them. But because we do. The only way we know it's right is if it let's us stay true to ourselves. But we can't regret our choices. The past is behind us. All we have is the present and the future. Whatever that may bring.

Life lessons from DH

Just watched an episode of Desperate Housewives..

*spoiler alert*

I can't believe Bree let him go!! o_O :'(

*****

Bree: One of these relationships isn't going to make it and it has to be ours.

Keith: We'll here's the only problem with that. I love you.

Bree: I love you too.

Keith: Good. Then you know why I won't leave.

Bree: Here's what I know. From the first day we met, I have been pretending that our age difference doesn't mean anything.

Keith: Because it doesn't.

Bree: It does. It means I have lived through more of life than you, including having children, which is something you desperately wanted, and now you have.

Keith: Bree, come on.

Bree: And while I have fallen in and out of love with several men in my life, I have never fallen out of love with my children. And you may think that you will never love another woman like you love me, but I know that you will.

Keith: I don't see how that's possible.

Bree: That's because you're young. You have given me so much, Keith. Please, let me give this to you.