My love, we have seen it all
The endless confession, the rise and fall
As fragile as a child
Lately I'm sorry I can't hold a smile
But I stand tall to get by
No matter how hard I try to hide
Did you know I take the time for you
Did you know that I would see you through
Did you know that I would play the part
I must've made it clear right from the start
My love, can you give me strength
Somehow I forgot how to ease my pain
I know I'm right where I belong
Something from nothing never proved me wrong
But I stand tall to get by
No matter how hard I try to hide
Did you know I take the time for you
Did you know that I would see you through
Did you know that I would play the part
I must've made it clear right from the start
I would shade my whole life with you
Would you do the same for me
I would give all I am to you
Would you do the same for me
And I will stand tall to get by
No matter how hard I try to hide
Could you see I've been brave
Did you notice all my mistakes
There were times I could feel you read my mind
Did you know I take the time for you
Did you know that I would see you through
Did you know that I would play the part
I know I made it clear right from the start
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Friday, June 20, 2008
Monday, June 9, 2008
Tagged!
Haha.. I guess I have a reason to come out of my blogging semi-retirement eh?
From Fin's blog:
rules:
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
7 Facts:
1. I was born a month late.
2. I have a birthmark on my right hand. A doctor once said it could've been an extra finger that didn't develop.
3. I've never been dumped. Rejected, plenty. But dumped, nope. Now before you accuse me of being self-absorbed, this is actually a major issue in my relationships. I tend to hit the eject button more often than I should.
4. My fascination with astrology stems from the fact that I'd like to improve my people-reading skills. I once correctly guessed my lecturer's star sign just by talking to him. I was very pleased with that :D
5. I have four parents.
6. I like to sing. When I was 16, I joined a karaoke contest during some Family Day and I won a TV. I sung an old Celine Dion song that wasn't very popular. When I went to see her concert last month in London, I was singing WITH her. I was crying tears of joy throughout the concert. I fulfilled my lifelong dream and it felt like I had come full circle.
7. I love Survivor. Have you seen Survivor: Fans vs Faves? It reminds me why I fell in love with the series in the first place.
Aih.. Malas nak tag orang boleh? :P
From Fin's blog:
rules:
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
7 Facts:
1. I was born a month late.
2. I have a birthmark on my right hand. A doctor once said it could've been an extra finger that didn't develop.
3. I've never been dumped. Rejected, plenty. But dumped, nope. Now before you accuse me of being self-absorbed, this is actually a major issue in my relationships. I tend to hit the eject button more often than I should.
4. My fascination with astrology stems from the fact that I'd like to improve my people-reading skills. I once correctly guessed my lecturer's star sign just by talking to him. I was very pleased with that :D
5. I have four parents.
6. I like to sing. When I was 16, I joined a karaoke contest during some Family Day and I won a TV. I sung an old Celine Dion song that wasn't very popular. When I went to see her concert last month in London, I was singing WITH her. I was crying tears of joy throughout the concert. I fulfilled my lifelong dream and it felt like I had come full circle.
7. I love Survivor. Have you seen Survivor: Fans vs Faves? It reminds me why I fell in love with the series in the first place.
Aih.. Malas nak tag orang boleh? :P
Thursday, May 8, 2008
I'm back
I've just handed in my final year report this morning. Now I can get my life back in order :)
One thing I noticed while I was surfing the Internet that most news are always sad and depressing. I mean, I can understand that these stories sell better, but my Pisces self keeps absorbing all these dark emotions like a sponge. Is it a wonder why I don't like to read the news because it makes me depressed?
So to lighten up the mood (somewhat), I'd like to post up snippets from a very enlightening blog post I've read today:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is Islam?
The host asked me to say a few words, which I did, and this was followed by a questions and answers session. Amongst the questions was ... He wanted to know if I am still a Muslim as what I write gives an impression I have left Islam.
...
I do not blame this ... chap for asking me that. Being Chinese and a non-Muslim he probably does not understand what Islam is all about. In fact, many Muslims themselves do not understand Islam and to them Islam is merely the five rukun or rituals that all Muslims must perform to get ‘confirmed’ as a Muslim.
Rituals, however, are just that, rituals. These are what Muslims would call fardu ain. You acknowledge in your heart and on your lips that there is no God but God and that Muhammad is the Messenger of God, you pray five times a day, you pay your tithes (zakat and fitrah), you fast 29-30 days in a year during the month of Ramadhan, and you go Mekah at least once in your lifetime to perform your pilgrimage or Haj if you are able to (health-wise, finance-wise, and if it poses no danger to your safety and security and you are not barred from leaving your home).
Doing these five things would make you a Muslim but only as far as performing the rituals are concerned. Whether you are truly a Muslim at heart or just a ‘show’ Muslim would be subject to whether you really have faith or akidah. And akidah can never be in the rituals you perform. It has to be something that rests in your head and lies in your heart. Which means you have no control over akidah. Either you have it or you don’t. You can’t ‘perform’ akidah like you can your prayers, fasting, Haj, and so on.
The akidah part is where most Muslims fail. They could be doing more than just fast 29-30 days a year but be fasting on the optional days as well. They could be praying more than just five times a day but be performing the optional prayers as well. They could be going to Mekah every year with the ‘small Haj’ or Umrah thrown in between that. And they could be paying more than just the 2.5% tithe but be giving sedekah (donations) to all forms of charity and causes. But if they don’t have akidah then they are not Muslims. And many Muslims are merely ‘show’ Muslims but not really Muslims at heart.
Uttering on your lips that there is no God but God and that Muhammad is the Messenger of God is easy. Even believing that is not difficult. Praying five times a day and fasting 30 days or more a year is also not difficult. In fact, it may actually be quite healthy if you are not diabetic or suffer from gastric. And paying a lot of money by way of tithes and by donating to various charities plus going to Mekah every year is also no problem if you are rich. However, beyond this, most Muslims fail miserably.
How many Muslims would believe in and accept God’s will? They would believe in God and believe that God owns all and decides all but they find great difficulty in believing in and accepting God’s will. Of course, every Muslim will say that man proposes but God disposes. But do they really believe this? And can they accept this? Sad to say, most would not.
... one thing is very clear in my mind. This is God’s will and ... this is what God has willed for me. And I will submit to God’s will for does not Islam mean submission?
Yes, Islam is not about rituals. Islam is not about ‘showing’ you are a true Muslim by performing rituals. Islam is about submission and there can be no submission unless you are able to and prepared to submit to God’s will. Not doing so would mean that you have no submission in your heart and therefore would not be a Muslim at heart.
... nothing can happen without God’s will. ... The Lord, as we all know, moves in mysterious ways. God knows what He is doing. We must therefore look at the big picture. And the big picture would become clearer as time goes on.
...
Whatever it may be, God is not frivolous. God does not do things for no reason. God always does things with a purpose in mind. So we must go along with God’s grand plan because God has said in the Holy Book that he is the greatest schemer of all and mankind can never be a greater schemer than Him.
... I will do what is required of me and not question God’s wisdom. For I am not a Muslim by way of mere rituals but a Muslim at heart. It is from God we came and to God we shall return. And everything that happens in-between is part of God’s grand plan.
Yes, performing rituals is easy. A ‘show’ Muslim is not hard to emulate. But a true Muslim at heart is what Islam is all about. And I would like to be that type of Muslim who surrenders to God’s will with gratitude in my heart and faith in that whatever befalls me is always for a reason and part of God’s plan that has been determined long before I came into the world ...
Taken from here.
One thing I noticed while I was surfing the Internet that most news are always sad and depressing. I mean, I can understand that these stories sell better, but my Pisces self keeps absorbing all these dark emotions like a sponge. Is it a wonder why I don't like to read the news because it makes me depressed?
So to lighten up the mood (somewhat), I'd like to post up snippets from a very enlightening blog post I've read today:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is Islam?
The host asked me to say a few words, which I did, and this was followed by a questions and answers session. Amongst the questions was ... He wanted to know if I am still a Muslim as what I write gives an impression I have left Islam.
...
I do not blame this ... chap for asking me that. Being Chinese and a non-Muslim he probably does not understand what Islam is all about. In fact, many Muslims themselves do not understand Islam and to them Islam is merely the five rukun or rituals that all Muslims must perform to get ‘confirmed’ as a Muslim.
Rituals, however, are just that, rituals. These are what Muslims would call fardu ain. You acknowledge in your heart and on your lips that there is no God but God and that Muhammad is the Messenger of God, you pray five times a day, you pay your tithes (zakat and fitrah), you fast 29-30 days in a year during the month of Ramadhan, and you go Mekah at least once in your lifetime to perform your pilgrimage or Haj if you are able to (health-wise, finance-wise, and if it poses no danger to your safety and security and you are not barred from leaving your home).
Doing these five things would make you a Muslim but only as far as performing the rituals are concerned. Whether you are truly a Muslim at heart or just a ‘show’ Muslim would be subject to whether you really have faith or akidah. And akidah can never be in the rituals you perform. It has to be something that rests in your head and lies in your heart. Which means you have no control over akidah. Either you have it or you don’t. You can’t ‘perform’ akidah like you can your prayers, fasting, Haj, and so on.
The akidah part is where most Muslims fail. They could be doing more than just fast 29-30 days a year but be fasting on the optional days as well. They could be praying more than just five times a day but be performing the optional prayers as well. They could be going to Mekah every year with the ‘small Haj’ or Umrah thrown in between that. And they could be paying more than just the 2.5% tithe but be giving sedekah (donations) to all forms of charity and causes. But if they don’t have akidah then they are not Muslims. And many Muslims are merely ‘show’ Muslims but not really Muslims at heart.
Uttering on your lips that there is no God but God and that Muhammad is the Messenger of God is easy. Even believing that is not difficult. Praying five times a day and fasting 30 days or more a year is also not difficult. In fact, it may actually be quite healthy if you are not diabetic or suffer from gastric. And paying a lot of money by way of tithes and by donating to various charities plus going to Mekah every year is also no problem if you are rich. However, beyond this, most Muslims fail miserably.
How many Muslims would believe in and accept God’s will? They would believe in God and believe that God owns all and decides all but they find great difficulty in believing in and accepting God’s will. Of course, every Muslim will say that man proposes but God disposes. But do they really believe this? And can they accept this? Sad to say, most would not.
... one thing is very clear in my mind. This is God’s will and ... this is what God has willed for me. And I will submit to God’s will for does not Islam mean submission?
Yes, Islam is not about rituals. Islam is not about ‘showing’ you are a true Muslim by performing rituals. Islam is about submission and there can be no submission unless you are able to and prepared to submit to God’s will. Not doing so would mean that you have no submission in your heart and therefore would not be a Muslim at heart.
... nothing can happen without God’s will. ... The Lord, as we all know, moves in mysterious ways. God knows what He is doing. We must therefore look at the big picture. And the big picture would become clearer as time goes on.
...
Whatever it may be, God is not frivolous. God does not do things for no reason. God always does things with a purpose in mind. So we must go along with God’s grand plan because God has said in the Holy Book that he is the greatest schemer of all and mankind can never be a greater schemer than Him.
... I will do what is required of me and not question God’s wisdom. For I am not a Muslim by way of mere rituals but a Muslim at heart. It is from God we came and to God we shall return. And everything that happens in-between is part of God’s grand plan.
Yes, performing rituals is easy. A ‘show’ Muslim is not hard to emulate. But a true Muslim at heart is what Islam is all about. And I would like to be that type of Muslim who surrenders to God’s will with gratitude in my heart and faith in that whatever befalls me is always for a reason and part of God’s plan that has been determined long before I came into the world ...
Taken from here.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Halls
When I moved into this hall of residence, the cracks on the wall made me slightly weary of the building's structure, but over time I've grown used to seeing them.
Today, three out of four main lights in the kitchen stopped working completely and the Internet is being temperamental at best. But then again, when the Internet does work, it's amazingly fast with speeds you won't find anywhere in Malaysia :D
Just two more months to go before I leave this cosy room of mine.
I got an email from my sponsor describing the job I'll be doing once I go back to Malaysia. I'll be a Learning Facilitator in the company's training division. The description sounds very professional and I'll be learning on job a lot.
I'm so excited over next Friday :D
Today, three out of four main lights in the kitchen stopped working completely and the Internet is being temperamental at best. But then again, when the Internet does work, it's amazingly fast with speeds you won't find anywhere in Malaysia :D
Just two more months to go before I leave this cosy room of mine.
I got an email from my sponsor describing the job I'll be doing once I go back to Malaysia. I'll be a Learning Facilitator in the company's training division. The description sounds very professional and I'll be learning on job a lot.
I'm so excited over next Friday :D
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Haih
The thing I wanted that I said I got in my last post? Elok2 kena tarik balik.. Haih.. It wasn't meant to be :(
Oh well.
I realize that I'm being very philosophical about leaving UK soon. I guess it's better than being depressed.
Easter is almost over. Come Monday, it's back to classes again, although to be honest, my classes are so sparse it doesn't really feel that much different anyway, LOL :P
This Easter is also my last so I decided to go visit my friends in the UK instead ofburning money touring Europe.
BIRMINGHAM: Iqa made this really mean mee hailam and grilled fish. Acap belanja makan itik szechuan (yang sangat sedap). I went to see the infamous Bullring, Cadbury World and Birmingham University. Their rent is ridiculously cheap! For 188 quid a month, my friend had a massive double room in a big house with a jacuzzi in the shared bathroom.
NOTTINGHAM: Managed to persuade Iqa to come along to Notts. Emirin took us on the Nottingham Eye (at least I've been on one now!) and we had a very yummy (halal!) Chinese buffet. That night we had a hilarious girl talk session joined by Hajar and saw snowflakes through the window. We stayed up till 2am. The next day, we went to a car boot sale in the freezing cold and later took my first tram ride in the UK. Afterwards, we met with a long-lost friend of mine, Weye, and we ended up playing Monopoly twice and went bowling 5 games straight that night!
One common thread in both trips was that I managed to merapatkan silaturrahim sesama ukhwah.. Iqa hasn't seen Acap for some time while Nopi didn't even know Emirin was in the same uni as her :P
OXFORD: This is more of an impromptu trip because I happened to be in Oxford and I had a couple of hours to kill so I enlisted the help of my friends to become my tour guides. I contacted Nadia who referred me to Khalid who referred me to Hizami who sportingly gave me a tour of several Oxford colleges, the city centre and also patiently waited for me as I queued to buy my (halal!) KFC. I met with Khalid later for probably just 5 minutes or so because by then I had to dash back.
A big THANK YOU to my lovely friends for being stellar hosts :D
Iqa, rumah ko best giler tau takkk. Acap, thanks sbb belanja and layan kitorg ber-Bullring, haha. Nopi, bergosip dgn ko mmg sgt best. Emirin, thanks sbb jd tour guide on call kitorg. Weye, ko dgn suami ko comel laa, hehe. Hizami, you've become a master tour guide. Khalid, sorry tak sembang lama pun dgn ko, kalo ko masak best2 nnt aku dtg lg, huhu.
(I don't think any of them read this blog, but oh well.)
I'm revamping my list of dreams too. Time's running short and it's time to reorganize my priorities ;)
P/S: Hajar was warded right after we met her that night. She had an operation early this week. Please pray for her speedy recovery. Amin.
Oh well.
I realize that I'm being very philosophical about leaving UK soon. I guess it's better than being depressed.
Easter is almost over. Come Monday, it's back to classes again, although to be honest, my classes are so sparse it doesn't really feel that much different anyway, LOL :P
This Easter is also my last so I decided to go visit my friends in the UK instead of
BIRMINGHAM: Iqa made this really mean mee hailam and grilled fish. Acap belanja makan itik szechuan (yang sangat sedap). I went to see the infamous Bullring, Cadbury World and Birmingham University. Their rent is ridiculously cheap! For 188 quid a month, my friend had a massive double room in a big house with a jacuzzi in the shared bathroom.
NOTTINGHAM: Managed to persuade Iqa to come along to Notts. Emirin took us on the Nottingham Eye (at least I've been on one now!) and we had a very yummy (halal!) Chinese buffet. That night we had a hilarious girl talk session joined by Hajar and saw snowflakes through the window. We stayed up till 2am. The next day, we went to a car boot sale in the freezing cold and later took my first tram ride in the UK. Afterwards, we met with a long-lost friend of mine, Weye, and we ended up playing Monopoly twice and went bowling 5 games straight that night!
One common thread in both trips was that I managed to merapatkan silaturrahim sesama ukhwah.. Iqa hasn't seen Acap for some time while Nopi didn't even know Emirin was in the same uni as her :P
OXFORD: This is more of an impromptu trip because I happened to be in Oxford and I had a couple of hours to kill so I enlisted the help of my friends to become my tour guides. I contacted Nadia who referred me to Khalid who referred me to Hizami who sportingly gave me a tour of several Oxford colleges, the city centre and also patiently waited for me as I queued to buy my (halal!) KFC. I met with Khalid later for probably just 5 minutes or so because by then I had to dash back.
A big THANK YOU to my lovely friends for being stellar hosts :D
Iqa, rumah ko best giler tau takkk. Acap, thanks sbb belanja and layan kitorg ber-Bullring, haha. Nopi, bergosip dgn ko mmg sgt best. Emirin, thanks sbb jd tour guide on call kitorg. Weye, ko dgn suami ko comel laa, hehe. Hizami, you've become a master tour guide. Khalid, sorry tak sembang lama pun dgn ko, kalo ko masak best2 nnt aku dtg lg, huhu.
(I don't think any of them read this blog, but oh well.)
I'm revamping my list of dreams too. Time's running short and it's time to reorganize my priorities ;)
P/S: Hajar was warded right after we met her that night. She had an operation early this week. Please pray for her speedy recovery. Amin.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Wow
I just got back from a 6d/5n stay in London. I'm a bit tired now, especially with my cold that went full force since yesterday, but my mind's too busy processing things right now.
You know how sometimes you keep thinking that it's impossible to do something and all you wanna do is give up instead of going kamikaze? Well that happened to me, specifically last Friday. I was dreading it all week, fearing I'd be swallowed alive by a wave of fire.
But you know what happened? The unthinkable.
I got what I wanted.
And now, instead of rejoicing with glee, I'm sitting here feeling anxious about what's in store for me.
Everything that I know and everyone that I've met will soon become a distant memory. In order to achieve my goal, I'll be sacrificing those that I've come to accept as my own family.
You know how you've grown so close to someone who's been so kind to you that you can't help but feel affectionate about that person.
I'm embarking on a new life and frankly, it's horribly scary.
It's funny how my biggest dream is also my biggest fear.
I know that you need to sacrifice a few things in order to succeed and God knows how much I want to succeed, but at times I do wonder if it will all be worth it. It's going to be one painfully lonely trip but I know I've gotta get through this. It's my destiny and I will make it happen.
"Ya Allah, syukur alhamdulillah for granting me this wish. I'm only a humble servant and I don't deserve such kindness from You, but I will make the most of what You have granted to me and I won't let You down."
P/S: Sorry for the cryptic post, but I'm not at liberty to divulge in details until it gets confirmed. If you really wanna know, then ask me.
You know how sometimes you keep thinking that it's impossible to do something and all you wanna do is give up instead of going kamikaze? Well that happened to me, specifically last Friday. I was dreading it all week, fearing I'd be swallowed alive by a wave of fire.
But you know what happened? The unthinkable.
I got what I wanted.
And now, instead of rejoicing with glee, I'm sitting here feeling anxious about what's in store for me.
Everything that I know and everyone that I've met will soon become a distant memory. In order to achieve my goal, I'll be sacrificing those that I've come to accept as my own family.
You know how you've grown so close to someone who's been so kind to you that you can't help but feel affectionate about that person.
I'm embarking on a new life and frankly, it's horribly scary.
It's funny how my biggest dream is also my biggest fear.
I know that you need to sacrifice a few things in order to succeed and God knows how much I want to succeed, but at times I do wonder if it will all be worth it. It's going to be one painfully lonely trip but I know I've gotta get through this. It's my destiny and I will make it happen.
"Ya Allah, syukur alhamdulillah for granting me this wish. I'm only a humble servant and I don't deserve such kindness from You, but I will make the most of what You have granted to me and I won't let You down."
P/S: Sorry for the cryptic post, but I'm not at liberty to divulge in details until it gets confirmed. If you really wanna know, then ask me.
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